By Wendell “Scoop” Pruitt
CLEMSON — For three weeks, this reporter has investigated allegations that the College Football Playoff selection committee is connected to MK Ultra, the CIA’s Cold War mind-control program.
The allegations come from a single source. The source is a man at a gas station in Six Mile. He asked not to be named. He also asked if I had a dollar.
The facts are these. MK Ultra was real. It ran from the early 1950s until 1973, when it was shut down. The selection committee, by contrast, has 13 members. They include athletic directors, former coaches and former players. Its first rankings of the season came out November 3. Clemson was not in them.
The source says that last fact proves mind control. This reporter does not draw conclusions. This reporter follows the facts. The facts led to a 2 a.m. viewing of the committee’s televised rankings show. This reporter watched it four times.
Patterns emerged. The committee said it sorts teams into “pods of six.” The phrase was repeated. It was repeated calmly. By the fourth viewing, this reporter was nodding along. By the fifth, this reporter believed it was reasonable to rank Ohio State eight spots behind a team it had beaten.
“Ask yourself why nobody can tell you what strength of record means,” said the man at the gas station. Then he asked for the dollar again.
Experts were consulted. A retired chemistry teacher in Pickens reviewed the broadcast. He found no evidence of hallucinogens. He did find a bowl projection graphic. He described it as worse.
This reporter filed a Freedom of Information request with the CIA for any documents containing the words “Clemson,” “playoff” or “eye test.” The agency has 20 business days to respond. This reporter has begun wearing a hat lined with aluminum foil in the meantime. It is a precaution.
The committee’s stated criteria include strength of schedule, head-to-head results, results against common opponents and the eye test. No one interviewed could define the eye test. Three separate fans described it as “you know it when you see it.” No documents have surfaced explaining the phrase. It remains classified, presumably by vibes.
Conclusion: There is no evidence that the College Football Playoff committee uses mind control. There is substantial evidence that it doesn’t need to. Millions of fans will watch every Tuesday night anyway. They will argue for six days. Then they will watch again.
That is not MK Ultra. That is something the CIA could only dream of.
Developing.